painful week

yeaps yeaps ~! its been a tough week ... its been basketball almost every single day thansk to MR JULIAN who made me crave for it or maybe its just a passions truck since the olympics is around the corner ~! and yes OLYMPICS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW wooo ~! get to see basketball everyday ... and you must be thinking why watch on tv when u can go out and ball anytime right? HAHA well


this is the reason why ... it might not seem that its serious and all but if u were to see my arm on that day ... you would freak out ... its fractured yea and just a small hole in the bone ... nothing serious will heal in a couple of days ... unable to full use my strength yet but i will abre with it ... thats the reason why i have


thsi on my arm right now ~! sucks to the max seriously ... cant even drive properly DAMN ~! haha oh well ... dont care im still balling if u all didint know ... an injury just wont stop me from basketball ... :)

well yea ... now my second semester has just started ... have to wake up 7 in the morning again ... sucks being in college ... but at elast i dont have tow ear uniform no more ...and its fun cause my class is directly opposite MGS's second floor which me and my gang go to the window and kacau them at times HAHA ... and yet i saw megan and sharon today through those windows LOL

OH OH ~!!!! anyone who didnt watch USA basketball team against CHINA ... YOU SUCK ~!

KOBE ~!!!


there he goes again


DWAYNE WADE ~!!


lebron james ... yao ming on the floor


the USA TEAM ...

USA beat china 101- 70 ... 31 points LOL ... oh well i expect USA to win this turn ... china gave a good fight from the start ... but at the end ... they just feel through ... lebron is jsut on fire >.<

im sorry, im just human

im human ... i aint god ... and like very human ... human thinks when they have no clue what happen, human thinks when they ask a question and the question were never answered ...

im not that perfect to jsut not think of the circumstances ...

im sorry im jsut human ... thats the five words i could only say

a mirror that is broken once

our heart is like a mirror ... once broken it can never be replaced nor fix ...
maybe that is why people call it ... once broken considered sold??
ever heard of the term revivetalising ... it actually exist in british vocabulary
even as hurtful as it seems ... things would jsut happen without a clue
people always say ... lightning wont struck the same place twice
but how could one struck my heart twice ...
things just really amaze me at times
what are we living for ... what is our purpose in life
i know i know ... we are living for god ... god gave us a purpose
but have you ever seem to wonder what purpose has god have on you
have you ever wonder why is the heart torn into so many pieces as we keep living on this planet ...
i would just love to join GOD in heaven now ... at least i dont have to feel this pain

i waited at the playground ... so many hours there seem to be no reply ... i am just scared something happen ... im scared things would look bad if i open my eyes ... im just scared surprises kicks in ... to be truthful i hate surprises ... i have been receiving to many surprises in one lifetime ... the only thing that would make me happy through a surprise ... is waking up next to you ...

i was born to tell you i love you
i am torn to do what i have to do
to make you mine, stay with me tonight

have you ever love someone so deeply that you never wish to see another ... love is not just for one ... but its for both parties to work hard to achieve their love to the limit ... love has no limit ... its an endless river that keeps running ... but rivers always have boulders to block our path ... that is when two has to come as one to flow through this huge boulder ... there is no love without any obstacles
correct me if im wrong ... everyone is vulnerable ... no one is invincible

when there are doubts ... always ask ... be truthful ... never give up ... never lose a fight without even wielding your sword to fight for what you believe ... love always lead to a broken heart ... but if you learn how to mend each others heart ... there will be nothing stoping ur love to flow through this river

a person that always seem to be strong is usually the weakest of all ... they tend to be strong so no one would worry ... so everyone would think he/she is okay ... so everyone would think he is strong to overcome everything ... let me tell you this ... people who seems to be the strongest are the weakest link ... they jsut dont show it ... its their nature ... dont take things for granted ... love is not just a toy ... love is a bond between two

stay true to your heart
stay true to your love
stay true to your instincts

sylvia ... i will always stay true to you

august 5th

august 3rd 2008 ... i could say that its the day i would regret for the rest of my life ... i thought the only day i would regret in my life would be two years ago ... but i guess history is repeating itself ... i should have just keep my mouth shut ... i should have just go with it ... but i diidnt wanna lie ... i wanna tell her everything ... i wanna tell her what i feel ... i wanna be true to her ... that is why i told her ... everything happen for a reason ... and the reason would be cause i wanna be truthful to you ... i fought against all this obstacles ... i bang my body and crash against the great wall of china ... i fought for you ... and i will keep fighting for the love and justice which i know that it exist ... because i know that you are weak inside ... you tried to fight but you cant seem to fight no more ... bie pick up your sword ... stand your ground ... fight for me ... like how i fought for you ... secure me with your shield ... as i secure you with my body ... you will always have me and i am hoping i would always have you ... secure me with your love ... secure me with the desire to be with me ... fight through all this foes all this obstacles ... and we would be happy together like how i know it should be ... the foes that we are fighting ... is all the lies we had, all those people tearing us apart, those people who just wanna take you away from me ... and most imprtantly ... secure me ... fight the jealousy away from me ... secure me with all you can ... cause i know u can ... you just have to try

ignore all those bad times we had ... ignore all those tears we shared ... i know i have hurt you but do think of the laughter we had , the happy time when we are together ... wont this happy moments just overshadow our worst times?? ... im letting go of our past to start fresh ... would you do the same for me ... stop thinking bout the sad times and stop thinking bout how you gonna hurt me ... think bout how happy you are gonna make me and how much love we share ... i am sure the love we share could overshadow all this darkness ... stop thinking bout the negative side ... think of the positive side when you are the only person that could make me happy

i would rather have bad times with you than good times with someone else ...

i wrote this on 3rd august when it all began

baby come back to me(its not a set of good lyrics but ... im okay with it)

Have you ever turn back to see
The tears you left behind
If only you could hear my heart
Just one more time

Even when I close my eyes
You are the only one I see
Even I have to come to realize
You are the lost I cant replace

Baby come back to me

(Chorus)
Baby Why
That you have to leave me all alone
Since the day that you were gone
Why didn’t you come back to me
Baby Why
Couldn’t you see we are meant to be
In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why didn’t you come back to me
Baby why

Walking on this empty road
Where our love was young and free
Waiting for the rain to stop
So you could come to me
I would give my life away
If our love can be safe
Cause I could still hear the voice inside of me
That is calling out your name

(Chorus)

It kills me when you tell me
That you aint the one for me
That you just walk away and leave me
Love would bring us back to you and me
If only you could see

Baby Why
That you have to leave me all alone
Since the day that you were gone
Why didn’t you come back to me
Baby Why
Couldn’t you see we are meant to be
In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why didn’t you come back to me
Baby why

august 4th

a story that once once written so many months ago (months har not year)

the first ever day where i lay my eyes on you ... with ur school's uniform u ask me am i andrew chan ... i said i am ... she was selling her school's orchestra concert and ask me if i would wish to buy one ... in the end i help her to sell to other people which i came down to the canteen after my recess ...

few weeks pass by and destiny kicks in again as i see her and for the first time i hang out with her together with 2 other friends ... she was with her own friends but later around 2-3 pm ... i ask her if she would want to join us for a movie ... she said ok ... i still remember i paid for her ... generous as i could be maybe things just dont seem as friends

after that day ... we message each other alot as on the 7th day which i first hang with her ... i ask her to my friends birthday party ... thats when i know i wanna be with her ... i know it might just be a short time ... but it seem like i have known her forever ... on that very day she became mine ... its different from what i felt or what i did ... among both my ex ... she was the first girl which i first on with that could make me feel so comfortable ... maybe my love meter has just struck at that moment

things went so smoothly ... first month ... second month... third month ... fourth month ... and almost to fifth month ... that is when it all crashes down to the center of the earth ... she was my longest relation ... she was the ever girl that could stick with a sweet talker like me ... yes i admit i sweet talk alot but its just my natural self ... i could see she really loved me ... but like i always say, we will never realize how much we love someone until we let that person go ...

i have let her go for almost two years ... and i do come to realize that i could never love another girl as much as i love her ...

year 2008 ... things actually brighten up for me ... she calls me more often ... she hangs with me more often ... yes i am very happy cause the girl i love most in life is coming back to me ... but i guess i did something wrong that screwed the whole thing again ... bie ... come to realize no matter what you say or did to me ... my love for you will be burning as long as i trust in GOD ...

the reason i told you i was insecure was because ... there is so many guys going after you ... some would straight ask for your number even though is the first time he knows you ... some just propose to you straight away ... i think sometimes i have the right to be insecure as there is all this guys making me jealous over them ... i never admit to anyone that i have jealousy issues ... i just keep strong for you ... but i decided to tell you that day cause i dont wanna lie to you ... you said that if your love was strong enough i could always feel ur secure and comfort ... let me tell you this ...i do feel it ... when you are around me ... i do feel your secure when u are in my arms .... i do feel comfort when i clash against you ... but all this guys scares me at times ... i hope you understand .... i would always fight for you ... and will always love you ... let me know that you will do the same?