number 1
isolating myself in this darkened cave
suffocating in a manner which nobody could save
the spirit of love from my heart which i gave
could never be brought back without a faith
bitterness from the heart grows day by day
love would be the price i would have to pay
maybe i should turn the other way
but hell no, i aint gay
things might be smoothing at the very start
but it always ended me being the retard
how i wish we wouldnt be apart
my heart is like a bullseye shot with a dart
number 2
angel by day devil by night
how i wish we wouldnt have to fight
nothing matters to you when you know im right
im blinded by your love blinded by my sight
seeing the fact that my love is true
but my world always turns to red from blue
sometimes i am misled without a clue
but i will always stick to you just like glue
Thursday, March 13, 2008
lost in his dilemma // march 13
windows shut, doors close, lights off, airconditoner on at 16, wearing nothing but my boxers ... the only presence of light is from my comp ... i wouldnt say i am emo but right now im just lost ... lost from life ... lost from my personal touch in life ... maybe i dont deserve anything but failure ... life is a mess when you are out of options ... yea life aint that great when u have no options and you have to make a decision quick ...
well people ... i did not accomplish what i aim for in my spm ... could be said a very disappointment for me because usually when i didnt do great in my exams, i am satisfy with my scores even if i failed to get high marks because i know i did my best ... but regardless to my spm results ... its not acceptable for me at all as i know i could have done better ... yes i know ... its over but the satisfactory is not there ... i could have did it so much better and yet i screwed up another important part of my life ... heartbreaks/PMR/SPM ... yea i screwed it all up ... maybe i am not that worthy to achieve anything beyond my dreams ... i aint gonna accept the fact that i did pass my spm with this results ... even i cant bare to see this results and yet how could i show it to my parents
right ... move on ...
so what have i been doing this days ... i was stuck on this new internet online game called cabal online ... its something like wow but i would say its so much better ... and its free lol ...
i had this youth leader retreat camp on the 10th and 11th of march ... seriously i didnt really expect that i would turn up for this camp but eventually god did his ways in me and i just went without any questions ... at first i really didnt think that i would learn alot from this camp but let me tell u this ... this camp taught me alot of things ... leadership is born in everyone one of us ... that i agree from now ... well for sure in thsi camp i had lots of fun with the other leaders ... ya so now im out ... am gonna think and start thinking of my options ...
will update soon i guess ... alright Andrew is OUT
oh by the way SHARON ... let go of those baggages and thoughts bout you being a senior pastor's kid ... you are no different from any of us ... dont expect too much from yourself ... like pastor edward said ... go with the flow ... dont go against it alright?? and i dare say you did a great job and you are only 15 ... so keep it up ... there is always people here for you ... you just need to ask ... be strong alright girl?? haha
last but not least SHARON , the song almost lover is stuck in my head nwo cause of you haha
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
well people ... i did not accomplish what i aim for in my spm ... could be said a very disappointment for me because usually when i didnt do great in my exams, i am satisfy with my scores even if i failed to get high marks because i know i did my best ... but regardless to my spm results ... its not acceptable for me at all as i know i could have done better ... yes i know ... its over but the satisfactory is not there ... i could have did it so much better and yet i screwed up another important part of my life ... heartbreaks/PMR/SPM ... yea i screwed it all up ... maybe i am not that worthy to achieve anything beyond my dreams ... i aint gonna accept the fact that i did pass my spm with this results ... even i cant bare to see this results and yet how could i show it to my parents
right ... move on ...
so what have i been doing this days ... i was stuck on this new internet online game called cabal online ... its something like wow but i would say its so much better ... and its free lol ...
i had this youth leader retreat camp on the 10th and 11th of march ... seriously i didnt really expect that i would turn up for this camp but eventually god did his ways in me and i just went without any questions ... at first i really didnt think that i would learn alot from this camp but let me tell u this ... this camp taught me alot of things ... leadership is born in everyone one of us ... that i agree from now ... well for sure in thsi camp i had lots of fun with the other leaders ... ya so now im out ... am gonna think and start thinking of my options ...
will update soon i guess ... alright Andrew is OUT
oh by the way SHARON ... let go of those baggages and thoughts bout you being a senior pastor's kid ... you are no different from any of us ... dont expect too much from yourself ... like pastor edward said ... go with the flow ... dont go against it alright?? and i dare say you did a great job and you are only 15 ... so keep it up ... there is always people here for you ... you just need to ask ... be strong alright girl?? haha
last but not least SHARON , the song almost lover is stuck in my head nwo cause of you haha
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
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